Gory death scenes, cheap porno quality filming, unintentional funny acting scenes, and the star power of professional wrestlers all help in creating a fun watch in the low-budget horror River of Darkness.
Olympic gold medallist and current Total Nonstop Action Wrestling superstar Kurt Angle (Endgame) stars as Sheriff Logan, an authority figure baffled by a number of increasing murders occurring around the local town’s river. Logan is met with cryptic messages at almost every turn and criticism from the townsfolk. His rival (the wrestler former known as Glacier in World Championship Wrestling) keeps putting down his abilities to the other townspeople as the murder number rises.
Kevin Nash (The Longest Yard) and ‘Psycho Sid’ Eudy star as two of the three Jacob brothers that have returned from the dead to get their revenge on the town that destroyed their lives. With machetes, axes and their impressive undead strength they leave their victims bloody and gutted. Surprisingly, they even attack a little girl in the movie.
Although Logan is not a highly religious person and believes more in scientific facts, he is slowly turned once a few survivors and old people start telling him that the Jacob boys have risen from the dead. To keep the murders rising and to add another twist to the story, a group of teenagers start looking for ghosts around the same river. Trying to save the remaining teens, Logan finally goes toe-to-toe with the Jacobs.
Cheesy is a great word to describe a lot of this movie, but for fans of cheap horror flicks and love the idea of watching wrestlers they know in this type of genre, this movie delivers in every way possible. Angle is always the tough guy who does not let anything get in his way. Even when a screaming mom falls down in front of him in hysterical fashion after her daughter’s death, Angle is still a hardnose cop.
Nash and Sid as zombies pretty much stare and Nash gives the only zombie line saying, “I’m already dead.” Both are good at delivering their evil glares, but Nash’s voice was completely normal for an undead. Glacier is a decent antagonist to Angle, but not much is given on their back story expect that they both competed for the sheriff position. The story ends up bizarre like most Friday the 13th endings, but Angle’s movie career will continue as he scheduled to star in another movie by North Shore Pictures in the near future.
River of Darkness
North Shore Pictures
Directed and written by Bruce Koehler
Distributed by Green Apple Entertainment
Releases on DVD, Mar. 29, 2011
Run time of 105 minutes